overnight walk

All posts tagged overnight walk

Fan the Flames.

Posted by Hope Rising on April 22, 2018
Posted in: Mental Health, The Overnight. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

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Each year as I prepare to do the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk, I am blown away by the outpouring of support I receive. This year is the first time I am not walking as a Student (yay for finally graduating ) which meant that my fundraising minimum was $1000. To be honest I was so nervous about meeting my goal. I had even considered not walking, and only volunteering this year. But then the Walk cities were announced: Philadelphia and Dallas. Texas has become one of my favorite places to visit in recent year. Much of that is because of my personal experience 3 years ago in Dallas at the Overnight. I just knew I had to go back this year. I am celebrating 3 years of recovery, and have made so many strides in my personal and professional life. I wanted to celebrate that in the city where it all began.

We are only 37 days away from the Walk, and I have already met my goal and the donations are still pouring in. I don’t even know if I can put into words how grateful I am for all the support. I feel so blessed and grateful. I am so thankful for all the people who have joined me in financially supporting the efforts of the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention in working to address Mental Health and Suicide.

Seven years ago, when I signed up for my first  I was nervous about the fundraising. I knew that most people would be curious as to why I was interested in an event like this. And honestly, I was worried about sharing my story and being vulnerable. Shame and Stigma had told me for so many years that it was best to be silent about the things I struggled with. Outside of a few people in my inner circle, I had never spoken about my own experiences with depression, self harm and suicide attempts.

Over the years, through these amazing events I have found my voice. And even if it shakes, I find the courage to share my story. Because I truly believe that it can help open the door for others to get the help they need. I have been abundantly blessed to have so many caring people in my tribe who are always looking out for me. I believe my purpose in life is to be able to pay that forward.

As the years have gone by, I have been connected with so many individuals who share similar stories with me. I am thankful that others have found me to be someone they can turn to in a dark time. And I have been able to have open and honest conversations with my friends about living with mental health conditions. Seven years ago, I never envisioned that would be the case. As I strive to break down the stigma in my own life, I can see that trickling down into the lives of those around me. I believe that togeteher as we continue to be open and honest we can truly change the world and its perception of mental health conditions.

So, to each and every person who I have shared my story with, and has still welcomed me with open arms, I thank you. For the friends who are there in the latest hours of the night, in the darkest times of my life, I thank you. For those who constantly reach out to me, to tell me how proud they are of me, and how they believe in me, I thank you. For everyone who has supported me in this journey, I thank you.

Because it is so much more than just this journey of 18 miles. This is my life story. This is my passion. And every single person who sows into me, is fanning the flame within me. With my amazing support system behind me… I know I can do this. I know I can walk through the night, even if I have to fight my body to do so. I know that I can stand up and continue to be brave with my story. I know that I can continue to push forward and reach for my dreams. I know that I can continue to celebrate important milestones of recovery, and they are as important to me as they are to those who love me.

So thank you for being a part of this journey.
Not only for the Overnight.

The Journey of life.

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for all of you.

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Connected with a Purpose.

Posted by Hope Rising on May 20, 2017
Posted in: Mental Health, The Overnight. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others, its what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, an without it there is suffering.
~Brene Brown- Daring Greatly

 

When I reflect on this quote, I reflect on my life and the truth held within these words. My life has changed exponentially over the last 5 years, and much of that is because the connections I have fostered in my life. Connections birthed from a place of being vulnerable, and allowing others to walk in my pain with me, so that I could find my way through it.

Tonight I will once again join a group of people who have impacted my life. Tonight we join together to walk through the night to shine a light on suicide. To share our stories of loss and heartache in the hopes that it will help others to get help. To raise money so that programs can continue to be developed to help the hurting in their time of need.

Last night I shared dinner with an amazing group of women who are standing together bravely in the face of their losses, and have rallied together to make a difference. And though I have never met most of these women before, they welcomed me with open arms. The community fostered through the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the Overnight Walk, is so much more… it is a family. Sitting at that table last night, sharing laughter and tears, I truly felt the weight of that truth.

Vulnerability is the core , the heart the center of meaningful human experiences 
~ Brene Brown

This community is rooted in vulnerability, in compassion and the belief that we are stronger together. And I have seen the fruits of that in my own life. Two years ago  in Dallas, I dared to be brave and give a voice to my story in a much larger scale than I ever had before. As I stood on the stage, holding my green honor beads in my hand, my story of depression, self harm and suicide attempts was being shared through the loud speaker. It was uncomfortable, and it was nerve wracking, but it was freeing. And that moment of vulnerability allowed me to let down my guard and accept the love, compassion countless words of encouragement and hugs from the community.

And I knew, for certain, we are in this TOGETHER. and it is beautiful.

This community has pushed me out of my place of comfort and given me the strength to turn my life and my story into something that I am proud of and will also help to save lives. I am beyond grateful for the kindhearted and brave souls that make up the AFSP community.

I am proud to walk alongside these brave-hearted individuals tonight as we walk through the streets of San Diego.

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Help me Fight Suicide 

Posted by Hope Rising on February 23, 2017
Posted in: Mental Health, The Overnight. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Dear Friends and Family,
As many of you know each year I participate in The Out of the Darkness Overnight for Suicide Prevention. This year I will be traveling to San Diego for my 5th Walk. This event is so important to me for so many reasons. As a Mental Health Counselor, I wholeheartedly stand behind the outreach and projects funded by the money raised such as :educational programs that help teachers and fellow students identify the signs of depression and suicidal behavior in high schools, training for field advocacy to fight for suicide prevention in legislation, training for facilitators to lead grief support groups for survivors of suicide loss, and implementing an Interactive Screening Program for College campuses.

However, this event is much more personal for me. I have struggled with depression, self injury, and suicidal thoughts for more than a decade. If it wasn’t for safe spaces like those offered by The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and To Write Love on Her Arms, I might have continued to suffer in silence. I learned the importance of sharing my story, I learned that it was a sign of strength not weakness to get help. And most importantly I learned that my past did not have to stifle my dreams for my future, instead it has actually fueled them and pushed me to make them a reality.
This year it is important for me to walk because I feel like it is a celebration and culmination of my experiences. This year I celebrated 2 years free from self injury, this year I can honestly say I am free from my ED behaviors, this year I am going to graduate with my Masters in Mental Health Counseling, and I am FINALLY getting to work in my field. It is a year of so many accomplishments for me, and I just want to be able to give back. For me that means raising the money that will help to save lives, the same way it saved my life.

So I am asking for your help once again. To get me to San Diego. To help me raise $1000. Even a small donation of $10 or $20 can go a long way if we all gather together. Your support means so much to me. These events have changed my life in more ways than I can even share.
To DONATE for the 2017 Overnight Walk

The Overnight 2016

Posted by Hope Rising on June 28, 2016
Posted in: Mental Health, The Overnight. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

And I will stay up through the night
And let’s be clear, won’t close my eyes
And I know that I can survive
I’ll walk through fire to save my life
Sia- Elastic Heart

June 4th, 2016 I completed my 4th Overnight Walk for Suicide Prevention. It was probably the most difficult one for me to date. Emotionally and physically, there were so many times I wanted to quit, but I had to convince my body keep fighting, to keep pushing through and make it to the end. Because I knew deep down inside that this year’s journey was so much more than about the miles that I would tackle. It was about breakthrough. It was about facing the things I did not want to face, feeling the emotions I have tucked away in the recesses of my mind because I was afraid they would break me. I knew that if I could face my fears, I could finally put the past behind me.

I could have given up. I could have decided that my body deserved a break. I could have decided that pain was going to win the fight. I could have decided to push the past under the rug where it had been hiding for years.

But I chose to fight.
I chose to walk through the fire.
To face my past.
To face everything that has been done to me.
and everything I have done  to myself in return.
To be honest about the path it has taken me to get to this place.

 

8 miles in and I had to face the past. On the Brooklyn Bridge.
Pain came in waves. In images. and grief that landed like a sucker punch to my chest.
What brought the most pain was seeing a life that had been turned into something so hopeless and so hidden from the outside world. Hidden behind smiles, and rehearsed responses. Trying to be brave when the thought of falling apart consumed every waking moment. A life bearing physical and emotional scars that were continually being reopened.

I do not wish that life on anyone.

But that life, I do not live it anymore.
That life was no life at all.

Because I am worth recovery.
I am worth feeling whole.
I am worth the fight to snatch back every ounce of myself that has been stolen by the words and the actions of others.
I am worth the power of redemption.
I am worth a second chance at life.

So i left it behind.
And I chose to chase after freedom.

And the most beautiful part of it all was that I never had to face any of it alone.
I was surrounded by community. Surrounded by friends, who have felt like I have felt at one time or another. Surrounded by warriors, who were taking back their lives just like I was. Surrounded by families and friends who were turning pain into something positive and beautiful, as I aspire to do.

This year I needed them. And they did not let me down.

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In this together

Posted by Hope Rising on June 3, 2016
Posted in: Mental Health, The Overnight. Tagged: , , , . 1 Comment

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The hardest part of walking the road of recovery, for me, was trying to navigate how to live out my truth while being authentic and transparent with those around me. There is always that feeling in the pit of my stomach that once I share my story people will see me differently. This is the reason why so much of the work that I do is aimed at breaking down the stigma and shame surrounding mental illness. Those of us who struggle with mental health issues are not any less worthy of authentic relationships.

There is something to be said about finding a place in the world where you can feel accepted, loved, and appreciated for being exactly who you are. Without the need to sugar coat your life, to make those around you comfortable, there is freedom in being bold with your truth. I am so much more than a mental illness and an addiction, so much more than just  a person walking through recovery.

And I thank God for the Out of the Darkness Community, because I truly feel like I have found my safe place in the world. Five years ago, I started my first journey with the Overnight Walk, and this whole new world opened up for me. In the space of 18 miles, strangers become friends, stories become woven together, and hope is renewed.

It has always been a struggle for me to let down my walls, I am usually very shy at first, but when I am at an Out of the Darkness event, that all falls away. I know that there are others in the crowd with stories that look like mine, and others that do not, but I know we are all united for a cause greater than ourselves.

Last year I arrived in Dallas alone and by the end of the weekend I had connected with so many beautiful souls. This last month has been so full of life, because I have been sharing it with the friends I made last year. I cannot even put into words what these friendships mean to me. And believe me when I say that I feel abundantly blessed to know these amazing people.

To my amazing friends, thank you for letting me be a part of your life and story as much as you are a part of mine. Thank you for allowing me to be the most authentic version of myself possible. Thank you for all the laughs that make me feel like I will never be sad again. Thank you for the adventures and memories that we have been creating. Thank you for creating a safe space in this world for me. Life hasn’t always been easy, and friendships haven’t always been real, but I know that with all of you, and this community, this is as real as it gets.

We are in this together.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Thank You for Supporting Me.

Posted by Hope Rising on June 2, 2016
Posted in: Fundraising, Mental Health, The Overnight. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

With just two days left until I take to the streets once again for Suicide Prevention, and I am blown away by the donations that continue to pour in. I have said it before but it needs to be said again, not only are you supporting an organization near and dear to my heart, you are supporting me.

Not only are you believing that I will push my body to conquer these 18 miles, you are believing that I will conquer the battles of my mind.

You are giving me the strength to choose recovery each and every day, even when it is difficult.

You are helping me to believe that the better days are still ahead like the sunrise that follows the darkness of the night.

You are helping me to continue to believe that there is power in my story, not only as catharsis for myself, but also to help others to be brave with their own stories and seek recovery as well.

You are helping me to believe that a future in the field of Mental Health counseling is not only possible, but it is what I have been called to do, and prepared for by own life’s circumstances.

You are helping to create initiatives and programs that will reach people when they are at their lowest and darkest and feel most alone. I have been in that place and by reaching out to others we can help save lives before it is too late.

and most of all you are supporting a community of people who have helped change my life in so many ways, and continue to do so.

So I thank you, for always believing in me. My heart is so full as I prepare once again to take this physical journey, and I know that you have all been behind me every step of the way through my own journey of recovery

I’ll be with you through the dark..

Posted by Hope Rising on April 12, 2016
Posted in: Fundraising, Mental Health, The Overnight. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

And I’ll be with you through
The dark so that you do not,
Go through the dark alone.
   ~Biloxi Parish- The Gaslight Anthem

Depression, for me, has been like a darkness where all hope seems lost, and I can’t find my way left or right of it. In the beginning it was so difficult, because I didn’t let anyone in, and I carried the burden alone. I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone. But, I know now that I was just doing more damage to myself. When I finally allowed people in, it wasn’t a magical cure. The darkness didn’t just float away and all was right with the world immediately. It took time, it was a long journey, and in many ways it is a journey I am still on.

But those people I let in, they became my guides. They took my hand and led me to the resources that I needed. They led me to safe places where I could share my truth. And each time I wanted to give up, they held my hand tighter to remind me that I was never alone. And on the really hard days, they carried me step by step until I found the strength to try again.

And as we continued, to move forward..together.. The light began seeping in.

And that is why the Overnight Walk is so important to me.

Each year as I take this symbolic journey of 16 miles through the night,
I am reminded how my community rallied together to get me out of the darkness and into the light.

And as I walk alongside others, I know that each person is at a different point of their journey,
But I want to do for others what other so selflessly did for me.
For more than just this night, I want to walk with you.
I want to take your hand and guide you to where you need to be.

I want you to be able to witness the glorious sunrise at the end of the journey and realize just how far you have come. I want you to know that you are never alone, I will be right here through it all.

Take my hand. Together we can get through this.

 

Click here to support me on the Out of The Darkness Overnight Walk