This year September 5-11 is National Suicide Prevention Week. It is a week dedicated to spreading the word about Suicide Prevention to break the silence and stigma and help others who are struggling to find the help they need. And it is also a time to not only talk about these heavy topics but to be active and get involved so that we can #stopsuicide.

So why do I care about Suicide Prevention?

I have been there… I have known what is it is to feel as if I am drowning in a sea of hopelessness, I have known heartache that never seemed to subside, I have known the feeling of almost giving up and throwing it all away.

In the midst of my pain, I found Hope and Love in the arms, hearts and words of friends and even strangers. I found my light at the end of the tunnel. Together we picked up the pieces of my life and I started the long journey of treatment and recovery. And now I want to be the one to offer hope to others.

Suicide is something that affects all of us; it touches our lives in one way or another.

There is help and there is hope out there for anyone who is struggling. I believe that no one has to walk this journey of life alone, especially not during the difficult times.

I fight for suicide prevention because I believe no one should ever have to feel hopeless enough to take their own life. I fight because I believe no family should have to endure the heartache of losing someone they love so much to suicide. I fight to break down the silence and stigma surrounding suicide and mental illness so that help can be freely sought out and given to those in need.

I fight to see a world free of suicide, and I believe it is possible. And I am joined by millions who fight for the same.

We are united to offer help, hope and love to all those who are hurting.

September always marks the beginning of a new season for me. The time to pack up the life I have lived for the summer and jump back into my academic and professional life. This year September takes on an even more significant meaning for me. I have just signed on to begin my first Internship as a Substance Abuse Counselor. It is an exciting and nervous time for me, but I cannot wait to jump right in and get started.

Four years ago I was just beginning to put my life back together, wading through the aftermath of the divorce, trying to find the calm in the storm inside of me. And most of all I was struggling to find my voice again, to find my place in the world and find some purpose from all of the pain.

There are so many times I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to believe others when they say “it gets better.” because it really does. It is not easy. You have to want to FIGHT and WORK for it. I had to learn my worth and decide I was worth help and healing, and that I was worth recovery from my own hangups. I had to decide to fight through the shame and seek counseling. If I had never let go of all the things I was holding on to I could have never reached this place in my life.

It has been such a difficult road, but I would not have changed a thing along the way, because it has all lead me right to this place. Many things are changing and in many ways they are falling right into place.

I have found my voice. My purpose. And I am excited for this next season in my life.

It has been quiet around here over the last couple of months. I want to say that is because I am out living a marvelous life, and haven’t gotten the chance to sit down and write. Because that is mostly true, the last few months have been so full of travel and experiences and catching up with the ones I love, and making new memories and forging new friendships. But when the dust settles, and I come back home, there are still many things that weigh heavy in my life at the moment and it has been draining.

Things with my father have been stable for a while, but I still know that a tough road lies ahead and I am trying to mentally and physically prepare myself for what is to come. I am not even sure if I have divulged what has been going on in that area, but writing about it is just too hard. So I am trying my very best to maintain a positive outlook. He has comes o far in this journey, we all have so I am believing in the better things.

Along with worrying about  my father’s health issues, I have come into some of my own. I am anxious to finally get some answers, and possibly some relief if I can put a name to whatever it is that has been ailing me. But in this trial I will not choose fear. Whatever the doctors say, I know that it will not be the end of me. I am a fighter, I have warriors blood. So I am just waiting on answers but it will not stop me from living my life to the fullest.

This month I am beginning my final real semester of school, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t scare the daylights out of me. This is now the time where I have to prove myself, if passion and personal experience are going to mold together with everything I have learned and I am finally going to see my dreams come to fruition. But I think it’s a good thing that I am scared, because it means I don’t take this path lightly. It means I care, right deep down to the core of me. I know that I actually have people’s lives entrusted into my hands. My words have the power of life and death for someone who is in such a dark place. And I will never lose sight of that. I will never forget the immensity of the work I set out to do.

I have been sitting in the silence a lot lately. Taking myself away from the crowds and the hum of the city and to the water’s edge. To think and plan my next steps. To decide what I want this life to really look like, not to only talk about it, but to go out and make things happen. There is a lot that I would like to change in the next few years, so I have to start now. I am finally in a healthy enough place to make the plans and make the changes, and even though that terrifies me..it is an exciting feeling.