twloha

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Ten Years of TWLOHA

Posted by Hope Rising on March 30, 2016
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Today marks 10 years since the movement began.
To Write Love on Her Arms.
Such a simple message not many would understand at first.
But for those of us who shared Renee’s story, that simple phrase was the power and the permission to share our stories. To uncover our scars and start honest conversations…

To ask for help when things were getting too hard.
To say no to the things we were using to numb  ourselves from the reality of our pain.
To turn our pain into purpose.

I found TWLOHA right at the beginning. And right when I needed it the most.
At 19 years old, and coming off the heels of two of the biggest losses in my life at the time.
Sleepless nights and panic attacks would soon follow.
An addiction to self injury that was out of control,
and being hidden because of shame.
Depression that robbed me of my will to get out of bed.
Eventually it would rob me of my will to live.

TWLOHA showed me that I was not alone.
In my sheltered world where everyone was so much happier and healthier than me,
I found a glimmer of hope in knowing that there were others out there.
People like Renee and me who struggle.and people like Jamie who would not give up on a friend no matter what her life looked like.

I bought my first shirts and wore them until they were threadbare.
They held a message I believed in. For Renee. For myself.

Every time I wear one in public and see someone else wearing them,  there is always a nod a smile, and even sometimes a hug. No matter what part of the story we relate to, we know we are a part of something bigger.

I am proud to support TWLOHA.

For 10 years of storytelling.
For allowing me to be honest and seek help.
For bringing people into my life that will walk this journey with me.

 

TWLOHA helped me to believe that:

HOPE is real. HELP is real. RESCUE is possible.

#weartwloha

Posted by Hope Rising on March 30, 2012
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , . Leave a comment

Today March 30,2012 marks 6 years since the story of TWLOHA began and the first ever Tee-Shirt was worn my Jon Foreman of Switchfoot. It is amazing to see how far To Write Love on Her Arms has come in 6 short years. I have been there since the beginning. I stumbled upon their page on MYSPACE just when I needed to hear their story.

Six years ago….all I needed to know was that I was NOT alone, and that there were other people who were struggling just as I was. Six years ago, I was just beginning to tell people about my struggle with self injury, depression and suicidal thoughts and it was a daily battle not to give in to my addiction. Through To Write Love on Her Arms I found stories of hope, support and encouragement.

Over the Last six years To Write Love on her Arms, has been a huge part of my story. I have gone from just watching from the sidelines to being involved with this organization in more ways than I could have ever imagined. Over the last two years I represented To Write Love on her arms in two AFSP walks for suicide prevention. The first was the 18 mile Overnight Walk. I was stopped by dozens of people, some who had heard of the organization and some who wanted to learn more. People I didn’t know would come up to me and hug me and tell em how important TWLOHA was to them. It was an amazing feeling to know that the TWLOHA community stretches far and wide. On the second community walk for AFSP in brooklyn i was able to sit down with a group of about a dozen college age kids who were walking to raise awareness about suicide in their college community. I was able to share my story with them as well as telling them about IMALIVE: the world’s first Virtual crisis center, a collaboration between To Write Love on Her Arms and the Kirsten Brooks Hopeline. This is a collaboration I am proud to be a part of.

I wear TWLOHA because I believe in the message of Hope and a community of Healing. I believe in the idea that rescue is possible no matter how far you have fallen. I believe in the message that Help is real. Hope is real. And each and every one of our stories is Important.

So today I wear TWLOHA. Why do you #wearTWLOHA?

 

LOVE is the movement.

Posted by Hope Rising on May 31, 2011
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

Romans 5:3-5 … “But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy spirit, who has been given to us.”

In the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower the writer says: “But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where to go from there.” When I read that it struck a chord in me. The past is something we cannot change, but we can choose how much we let it affect us, good or bad. Someone once told me that my trials and my tribulations and all the struggles I had faced up to that point in my life were my source of passion, resiliency and strength. Back then I could not believe those words, they seemed to be mocking me. I believed the cycle I was living would be the one I lived for my entire life.

But now I have passed through the storm and I am standing on the other side, more hopeful than I have ever been. I am still young, but I have grown a lot in 10 years. And I can look back on all the trials that I have faced in my life and say that I am thankful for them. I am thankful for the lessons they taught me, the strength they gave me, and the courage to be part of something greater than myself. I do not regret anything, because I believe everything that has come into my life was for a reason. It all has a purpose in my calling and in my future.

One amazing organization has proved to me that you don’t have to be perfect to change the world. Your life can seem to be in shambles, yet, if your heart is in the right place, amazing things can happen. To Write Love on Her Arms has been more than an inspiration to me on so many levels. I see myself in Renee’s story in so many ways, and when I read it, I reminded that there were people who were fighting and praying for me, just like they were for her. And even when I felt alone, and discouraged and fell back into all the same traps, I knew that in the end, the same HOPE that was alive for her was there for me. And now that I have put that part of my life behind me, TWLOHA is inspiring me in a whole new way. I know that I am called to help others who have gone through many of the same things as I have. Seeing them go out there and touch so many people, and save so many lives, makes me want to go out and do the same. No one’s life is perfect and even in their trials they still continue to move forward and help the broken.

This organization is very dear to my heart, and I truly and whole heartedly support them. They are offering hope and changing lives. It’s amazing to see so many people come together for such a purpose. I was once broken and shattered, and sometimes I feel those cracks starting to form, but I just look at their page and I reminded that “THERE IS HOPE. RESCUE IS POSSIBLE. LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT”

Their love for others has ignited a fire in me, and also reminds me of the love that is out there for me. Love surely is the movement. I’ve seen what it can do in my life. All the pain, guilt and anger of my past have been replaced with love. Love that I have finally learned to give to myself, and love that I have also learned to let in from the outside.It took a lot for me to get here, and I don’t want to go back. As far as I am concerned there is nothing to go back to. This is my beginning, my road only moves forward from here.

That is why I chose to form the TWLOHA supporters Team for the Out of the Darkness Overnight. They have been such an inspiration in my life, and I am proud to wear the words To Write Love on Her Arms. Because this is my story. My scars are there but the pain that was attached them, I have learned to replace with thoughts of LOVE, thoughts of the people who helped me get through it & who loved me when I thought I was unlovable. I am reminded that there is a God who will never turn away from me, who welcome me with loving arms each time i fall and ask for forgiveness. The world looks at my scars and judges me for them, but I want to tell them that I am not weak, I am stronger now because of what I went through. I am not ashamed of who I was and what I went through because it was through those experiences that I learned how to love: myself and those around me. Don’t ever judge a person by what you see on the outside, because you never know the road they are walking.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. NIV… I CORINTHIANS 13: 4-13

MOVE Out of the Darkness

Posted by Hope Rising on April 11, 2011
Posted in: Fundraising. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

 

I had the perfect weekend, not because I was lounging around doing nothing or watching TV, but because I was doing something I really loved and I was recharging my batteries in the process. I was selected to attend a community conference for To Write Love on Her Arms. (TWLOHA) It’s not something most people would consider to be a relaxing weekend. It involved two full days of hearing and participating in lectures about topics that are usually pushed to the wayside in our society: depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self injury, addiction and suicide. We had the opportunity to have an open environment where we could voice our feelings, knowledge and even personal struggles with each of these issues. I wanted to participate in this conference because I felt a longing to be a part of something bigger. But to tell you truth I expected to be drained at the end of the weekend, because I know that the topics are heavy subjects and it can take a lot of you to really come face to face with them, especially if you have struggled with them in the past. But at the end of the two days I was more hopeful than I have ever been. It was an incredible experience to hear some of the stories of pain turning into hope and redemption, it was inspiring to see groups of college students who wanted nothing more than to change the lives of those around them, but overall it was energizing for me to know that I am not alone in my hopes and dreams for a better world. I was truly touched by many of the people I came in contact with, whether they know it or not. I admire the strength of all those who were willing to share their stories, viewpoints and ideas with a group of strangers. We all came in knowing hardly anyone and we left with the overwhelming feeling that we are actually part of something much bigger than ourselves, and that together we can make a difference in this world.

After the TWLOHA conference I am filled with this need to do something meaningful with my life. I want the life I was created for… I believe my life and my story is here to make a difference, I believe that they can and will impact people in this world. I want something more than what I have now. And I am willing to do all I can to see that happen.

In my own way I am opening the door for real conversations about these topics. At my desk at work I have my flyer for the Out of the Darkness Overnight displayed, and when people have asked me what it is, I share a little bit about the Foundation as well as my motivation to walk. I am not ashamed of my past and I have gotten an overwhelming response. The majority of my donations so far have been from my coworkers which is an amazing accomplishment for me. The conference allowed me to interact with others that are in the same boat as me, and gave me the extra push to come out of my shell and speak about what is on my heart without having to make the other person or myself feel uncomfortable.

I am thankful for the opportunity to participate in the Overnight Walk because it gives me the motivation to keep these conversations alive in the world around me and it continues to add fuel to my passion to be a part of something greater than myself. By participating in this walk we are giving a voice to those who have made the decision to end their lives. We are showing that this is something that can be prevented with the right help, funding and support. If we don’t take the stand and fight the stigma…how many more people will lose their lives to the battles in their minds. I for one will never stop fighting to break down the walls.