overnightwalk

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THE OVERNIGHT 2015

Posted by Hope Rising on April 26, 2015
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

TODAY IS THE DAY.

TONIGHT MORE THAN A THOUSAND PEOPLE WILL WALK THE STREETS OF DALLAS TO BRING SUICIDE AND MENTAL ILLNESS OUT OF THE DARKNESS AND INTO THE LIGHT.

 

This is my Third Overnight and each year I am so moved by the people and the event as a whole.
What I love about this event is that it gives me an outlet to talk about the things, “we arent supposed to be talking about”. From my cab driver to people I have met in the hotel, each time I am asked what brings me to Dallas, it is an opportunity to share about this cause that is so close to my heart. And with that opportunity, it gives people an invitation to others to share their stories. So many times this week, I have come across people who have experienced a suicide in their lives in one way or another, and it just shows how important the work of the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention is.
To break down those stigmas so that people who are hurting can feel free to speak to someone, whether it is family, friends or a complete stranger.
To give hope to those who have lost a loved one, that they are not alone and so many people want to help them.
To give support and strength to those who are struggling. To be a judgment free zone of unconditional support and love no matter what they are facing. Because we believe it can get better.
For me each year this is such a healing experience. No matter what the days, weeks, and months leading up to the event have looked like….it all goes away. All of a sudden I feel the electicity in the air, and a lift in my spirit.
and I believe it is the HOPE that all these amazing people carry in their stories. From across the country to across the world I am impacted by so many people.
and my HOPE is to be able to impact others with what I have found here with AFSP.
These 18 miles before me, are not a challenge… it is a journey of recovery and healing that I am excited to take.
I cannot wait for it to begin.
THE OVERNIGHT 2015

This is my fight song..

Posted by Hope Rising on April 20, 2015
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

 

This weekend I will be traveling 1500 miles to participate in my 3rd Overnight Walk for Suicide Prevention. Every year is an emotional journey for so many reasons, but this year in a way its even more emotional for me. This year I have been selected to stand on stage and represent those of us who wear the “green beads”…those who struggle with depression, addiction and other mental disorders. For me this is such an important gesture, because I wholeheartedly believe that mental illness or the things we struggle do not have the power to keep us from our dreams. I am suicide attempt survivor. Someone who battled depression for more than a decade. Someone who struggled with addictions that destroyed my life ,my relationships, my body, and the how I viewed my self.
But I am here, years later getting the training that will allow me to be able to help others in the future. Some days are still hard, but I have the tools and support system that allow me to handle those feelings. I am not defined by a mental illness, or an addiction. Many have done it before me, and I will help other to do the same in their own lives.
I will fight everyday. Because I am stronger than the things that want to destroy me.

 

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
(Starting right now) I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song

 

I encourage everyone out there to keep fighting. I believe in you.

Guest Post -Laura Mayer

Posted by Hope Rising on May 30, 2012
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

Today I am honored to share the story of fellow Overnight walker Laura Mayer. I am touched by her strength, hope and courage. I thank her for sharing this and I hope that it will touch many lives.

Every 16 minutes a person dies from suicide. They are fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends, neighbors or someone you met a party once. For me, suicide first touched my life when I was in my early teens. I struggled with self-injury and depression due to trauma as a child and it was something I knew was an option but I didn’t quite understand the gravity of what it meant. I learned very quickly though in 1998 when my father made his first attempt to end his life on December 13th and then completed suicide on December 21st. My entire world completely changed at the age of 15 when death by one’s own hand was a reality.

Suicide is just a moment. It’s a moment after a long time of immense pain; some might even say emotional and mental agony. It’s sometimes impulsive and sometimes well thought out but in the moment it’s almost the same for every person; they want relief from their pain and they want to control that end. Some might say that it is a cowardly way out of life but I know for me and I know for my Dad it was a well thought out choice with the most logical end in an illogical war within the mind. My Dad lost his battle with depression not because he didn’t try, but because the stigma, shame and improper training of professional let him down. He experienced extreme isolation with his depression and there were limited resources in our community for him to have the support he needed. I know that can change.

In 2004 I was again devastated by suicide when my best friend who was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital ended her life. She was a beautiful and talented young woman with nothing but a bright future ahead of her. She had recognition around the world for her furniture design and she was in a very competitive and incredibly difficult masters program at the time. She would have been a pretty big deal once she graduated. She had the resources at her fingertips but again, a myriad of circumstances led to the ultimate let down and she felt the world was better without her. She grew up in a family and community that had very little understanding or patience for mental illness and because of that her family hindered her in her treatment instead of supporting her. Extended family as well as her parents put a lot of pressure on her to fix whatever was wrong because she was embarrassing them. She was 27 years old when she died.

These personal tragedies and my own struggle with depression led me to overcome them and become a part of a community that not only accepted mental illness but felt empowered to do something about it. This past winter I became a Crisis Counselor for a LifeLine crisis center and have found the work to be immensely rewarding…but I know that it cannot stop there. During a hotline shift I came across The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website and I remembered how a few years after my father died that they had a walk to raise money. I saw that this year it was being held in NYC and I knew I wanted to do it. I called my brother and he said he would join and then my best friend said she would too. I have never been more energized, empowered and excited to participate in an event. One night WILL make a difference and I am so blessed to be a part of it!

-Laura Mayer

The Journey is the Destination

Posted by Hope Rising on May 5, 2011
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As anyone who knows me well enough knows… I have a slight obsession with TOMS shoes. I love them because they are comfortable, stylish, and they are doing an amazing job of helping the world one pair of shoes at a time. I constantly find my self shopping their site on the hunt for a new pair. Chalk it up to a serious shopping problem, or my innate need to help the world…you choose. J

And as I was browsing their site I came across this shoe… (Journey is the Destination)

And I fell in love… There is something so powerful about that message to me. Sometimes we get so caught up with where we should be, where we need to be and where we are not…that we forget to appreciate the Journey along the way. We keep our eyes fixed on the “finish line” but don’t see all the lessons we could be soaking in along the way. We have tunnel vision and forget to recognize the people that are right there walking along side us. I know I have made this mistake many times. I am focused on where I should be and where I am not, but I don’t even bother to turn around and see how far I have come. I need to understand that I am not perfect, and I will never be perfect on this Earth. But each time that I fall and I do not allow my self to turn around and run back into the hole… I am making progress. I will stumble and I will fall. But I am not a failure. Even if I don’t make it to where I think I should be, I have made it somewhere and that should be worth something to me. This doesn’t mean I will stop “going for the gold” and give up altogether. Defeat is no longer in my vocabulary. I am determined to continue to fight the good fight because I know there is something greater for me out there I am learning to appreciate this journey that I am on even more. I accept it fully with all the triumphant victories and even the devastating mistakes.

I am starting a new journey in my life in so many ways. The last two years have been difficult and have tried and tested me but they did not take me down because I am still standing. When people look at me who know what I have been through they tell me I am strong. But I know better, The ONE i am holding onto is bigger than all my heartache and bigger than all my mistakes and my failures. God has brought me through this trial and I know He is taking me on a greater journey than I imagined before. I am excited for this journey ahead of me. In a few days I will turn 24, and I am beginning this new year of life doing something that truly matters to me: The Out of The Darkness Overnight. I am nervous, excited, somber, moved and hopeful all at the same time. I am ready for the journey ahead of me, whatever life throws at me.

MOVE Out of the Darkness

Posted by Hope Rising on April 11, 2011
Posted in: Fundraising. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

 

I had the perfect weekend, not because I was lounging around doing nothing or watching TV, but because I was doing something I really loved and I was recharging my batteries in the process. I was selected to attend a community conference for To Write Love on Her Arms. (TWLOHA) It’s not something most people would consider to be a relaxing weekend. It involved two full days of hearing and participating in lectures about topics that are usually pushed to the wayside in our society: depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self injury, addiction and suicide. We had the opportunity to have an open environment where we could voice our feelings, knowledge and even personal struggles with each of these issues. I wanted to participate in this conference because I felt a longing to be a part of something bigger. But to tell you truth I expected to be drained at the end of the weekend, because I know that the topics are heavy subjects and it can take a lot of you to really come face to face with them, especially if you have struggled with them in the past. But at the end of the two days I was more hopeful than I have ever been. It was an incredible experience to hear some of the stories of pain turning into hope and redemption, it was inspiring to see groups of college students who wanted nothing more than to change the lives of those around them, but overall it was energizing for me to know that I am not alone in my hopes and dreams for a better world. I was truly touched by many of the people I came in contact with, whether they know it or not. I admire the strength of all those who were willing to share their stories, viewpoints and ideas with a group of strangers. We all came in knowing hardly anyone and we left with the overwhelming feeling that we are actually part of something much bigger than ourselves, and that together we can make a difference in this world.

After the TWLOHA conference I am filled with this need to do something meaningful with my life. I want the life I was created for… I believe my life and my story is here to make a difference, I believe that they can and will impact people in this world. I want something more than what I have now. And I am willing to do all I can to see that happen.

In my own way I am opening the door for real conversations about these topics. At my desk at work I have my flyer for the Out of the Darkness Overnight displayed, and when people have asked me what it is, I share a little bit about the Foundation as well as my motivation to walk. I am not ashamed of my past and I have gotten an overwhelming response. The majority of my donations so far have been from my coworkers which is an amazing accomplishment for me. The conference allowed me to interact with others that are in the same boat as me, and gave me the extra push to come out of my shell and speak about what is on my heart without having to make the other person or myself feel uncomfortable.

I am thankful for the opportunity to participate in the Overnight Walk because it gives me the motivation to keep these conversations alive in the world around me and it continues to add fuel to my passion to be a part of something greater than myself. By participating in this walk we are giving a voice to those who have made the decision to end their lives. We are showing that this is something that can be prevented with the right help, funding and support. If we don’t take the stand and fight the stigma…how many more people will lose their lives to the battles in their minds. I for one will never stop fighting to break down the walls.

You can’t change the world from your couch

Posted by Hope Rising on April 2, 2011
Posted in: Fundraising, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

In order to change the world, you have to step out of the box in your comfort zone first. I was brought up with this deep feeling that my life had to be more than just for me; I guess I have always wanted to change the world. A lot of that comes from my parents and the way I was raised and the things I saw as I was growing up. (Thanks Mom and Dad) But as much as that desire burned strong within me, I sometimes found myself silencing it because of fear, because of finances or any other number of reasons. I always had an excuse for why I couldn’t go out there and do the things I dreamed of doing. I got stuck in the comfort zone of putting up barriers and having explanations. It was as if I had to keep up the façade with my words, but I wasn’t willing to work for it with my actions. Sadly, that attitude began to creep into so many areas of my life. On paper I seemed like this amazing person who was going to do so much and be so much for the world and for those around her, but in person I was ashamed of myself. I wasn’t doing anything to make sure I reached the goals I had told everyone I wanted to reach. But I am sick of trying to convince myself to believe that I can change the world just by sitting on my couch. I am sick of trying to get by on just my words alone and believe that my dreams will just fall into my lap someway somehow. I am sick of being disappointed when I look at my life, and think of where I could be if I just applied myself. I have to set goals for myself and stick to those goals; I just have to start small because I don’t want to get overwhelmed. But I will no longer start the race with a running head start only give up and watch from the sidelines long before it is over. My first goal is :To raise the money and complete the 18 mile walk for The Out of the Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention. I have wanted to participate in this walk for about 3 years now, but I never even bothered to try because of fear. I looked at the $1000.00 fundraising goal and immediately doubted that I would be able to raise that amount. I feared that I wouldn’t be able to complete the 18 mile course before I even attempted to train for it. I killed my goal before it even had the chance to see the light… But not this year… I put aside the fear and took a leap of faith and I registered. I have only raised $365 to date but I know that God will make a way and provide. I have challenged myself to start training and start saving some money by walking the 5 miles home from work at least 3 times a week and move up my training from there. I know that I will push myself to finish the 18 miles, I have to for my team and for myself. My second goal is: To complete my IMALIVE Online Suicide Intervention Specialist training before the summer. I am almost halfway through the program, but I let fear, distractions and life situations take a hold of me and I had to take a break. I was so sure of myself going in, but as I neared the end I got so nervous that I wouldn’t be good enough or that I would fail as a counselor. But as Gandhi once said, “you may never know what results come from you action, But if you do nothing there will be no result. So for now those are two goals I have set for myself, I know they are attainable, so its up to me to keep my word and get up off the couch and start taking the steps to help me reach my dreams.

I walk for Hope.Life.Love.

Posted by Hope Rising on March 11, 2011
Posted in: Fundraising. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

 

This year I have decided to take a bold step, not only for myself but for all the people that are affected by depression, self injury, bipolar disorder and a myriad of other mental illnesses that can create the path toward suicide.I am walking in the AFSP Out of the Darkness Overnight Even though I have personally struggled with depression self injury and suicidal thoughts in the past, that is not my greatest motivation. My passion and my drive for taking a stand and making a difference is fueled by my personal story, but my strength comes from the belief that we can make a difference in this world by breaking the stigmas that are attached to these mental health issues.

It starts small. But little by little we can make a difference. I am choosing to do this walk not only because of the money it will help raise, but because it also gives me a platform to talk about the things “we aren’t supposed to be talking about” For so many years I had to hide who I was and how I was hurting because society, mainly my family, had taught me that this was a weakness not a sickness. One of the first responses my family had to my struggle was to tell me that they thought “I was stronger than that” And that was the downfall. I felt I was failing not only as a daughter, sister and friend, but as a person because I wasn’t strong enough to deal with my issues and just walk away like everyone else did. But with the help of mentors, adults and friends who really understood my struggles I was able to break that stigma for myself. I no longer viewed my cutting or depression as a weakness… I finally saw it for what it was, an addiction and a sickness. And that opened up many opportunities for me to get help. I was no longer ashamed of my faults, but I understood that I needed outside help to address them and deal with them.Had I allowed my life to be ruled by the stigmas of depression, cutting and even therapy…I don’t even think I would be here today.

That is why I believe in second chances and paying it forward. I know that I have been given a second chance at life, and I just can’t let it pass me by. I have no shame about my past and my struggles because I know that they are the reason I am the person I am today. I don’t try to hide my past because I know that there is someone out there who can benefit from hearing my story. And so I have taken this second chance and have decided to help others.

I have enrolled to go through a mentally vigorous training to become an Online Suicide Intervention Specialist. I am more than half way done with the training which means I am much closer to being able to help people firsthand.

And by walking in The Out Of the Darkness Overnight I have opened up the opportunity to talk to my friends and family about this cause and why it is important to me. I want to let others know that they are not alone in their fight and that there are people out there who care and want to help. I want to tell those who are hurting that it is ok to ask for help, it is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength to want to get help.

It’s time to tear down the walls, the help break the stigmas of society and create conversations where people in need can feel safe to ask for help. It is time for us to take a stand and be a voice in the darkness for those that are broken. Let us join together to show them that we care.

If you have ever been personally affected by suicidal thoughts, or have lost someone to suicide, or you just have a burden on your heart to help…would you consider donating to this cause?

No one should be alone in their struggle, together we can raise awareness and raise funds to help provide treatments, counseling, support systems and above all.. HOPE and LOVE to those who need it most.

Overnight Donation Page