In order to change the world, you have to step out of the box in your comfort zone first. I was brought up with this deep feeling that my life had to be more than just for me; I guess I have always wanted to change the world. A lot of that comes from my parents and the way I was raised and the things I saw as I was growing up. (Thanks Mom and Dad) But as much as that desire burned strong within me, I sometimes found myself silencing it because of fear, because of finances or any other number of reasons. I always had an excuse for why I couldn’t go out there and do the things I dreamed of doing. I got stuck in the comfort zone of putting up barriers and having explanations. It was as if I had to keep up the façade with my words, but I wasn’t willing to work for it with my actions. Sadly, that attitude began to creep into so many areas of my life. On paper I seemed like this amazing person who was going to do so much and be so much for the world and for those around her, but in person I was ashamed of myself. I wasn’t doing anything to make sure I reached the goals I had told everyone I wanted to reach. But I am sick of trying to convince myself to believe that I can change the world just by sitting on my couch. I am sick of trying to get by on just my words alone and believe that my dreams will just fall into my lap someway somehow. I am sick of being disappointed when I look at my life, and think of where I could be if I just applied myself. I have to set goals for myself and stick to those goals; I just have to start small because I don’t want to get overwhelmed. But I will no longer start the race with a running head start only give up and watch from the sidelines long before it is over. My first goal is :To raise the money and complete the 18 mile walk for The Out of the Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention. I have wanted to participate in this walk for about 3 years now, but I never even bothered to try because of fear. I looked at the $1000.00 fundraising goal and immediately doubted that I would be able to raise that amount. I feared that I wouldn’t be able to complete the 18 mile course before I even attempted to train for it. I killed my goal before it even had the chance to see the light… But not this year… I put aside the fear and took a leap of faith and I registered. I have only raised $365 to date but I know that God will make a way and provide. I have challenged myself to start training and start saving some money by walking the 5 miles home from work at least 3 times a week and move up my training from there. I know that I will push myself to finish the 18 miles, I have to for my team and for myself. My second goal is: To complete my IMALIVE Online Suicide Intervention Specialist training before the summer. I am almost halfway through the program, but I let fear, distractions and life situations take a hold of me and I had to take a break. I was so sure of myself going in, but as I neared the end I got so nervous that I wouldn’t be good enough or that I would fail as a counselor. But as Gandhi once said, “you may never know what results come from you action, But if you do nothing there will be no result. So for now those are two goals I have set for myself, I know they are attainable, so its up to me to keep my word and get up off the couch and start taking the steps to help me reach my dreams.
You can’t change the world from your couch