Today marks one of the most exhilarating and terrifying days of my adult life. Today I left behind a job where I have been planted for the last 4 years, in a field I have been in for over a decade. Today I decided to stop letting fear dictate my life and actively go after my dreams. Today I threw caution to the wind, I shook off the chains of my past, and I decided to truly let go and let God.
Helping people has always been my passion. A passion that was birthed from my own personal struggles. Since the age of 19, I knew that helping others get their lives’ back would bring ME great Joy.
However, fear played a major role in me choosing a steady paycheck over something that fuels me. For a long time, I have felt the yearning to follow my calling. To trust my instincts. I have felt stifled by not being able to chase after the things that I want for my life. I have been “dream chasing” part time for years, letting it play out only on weekends or through fundraisers, but then having to get up on Monday morning and do something I never really loved.
In 2009 I chose marriage over career.
In 2011 depression took away my plans for a future
In 2012 divorce left me even more broken.
In 2013 I was accepted into the graduate program of my choice, I once again gained HOPE that I could fulfill my dreams
in 2014 loss, heartache and relapse was a language I knew all to well.
in 2015 I began the road of personal recovery and preparing myself to help others.
and finally in 2016. I am stepping into my role as a Mental Health Counselor.
There are a lot of questions floating around in my mind. Many insecurities, many worries about what the next 6 months will hold, and how that will impact my life.
It is uncomfortable.
BUT… it is when we are uncomfortable..that we grow.
I do not want to be stagnant.
I want to become the best version of myself possible so that I can help others do the same.
So as I leave this job. I leave so much of my story behind.
The good and the bad, it has all helped me to get to this point.
I am thankful for the journey, because if I had never fallen so deeply as I had, I would have never realized just how strongly the fire within me burned.
so I leave another chapter of the past behind..
and I go now to “seek a great perhaps”
This is just the beginning of a brand new life.
I open myself up to the endless possibilities my future can hold.
“Francois Rabelais. He was a poet. And his last words were “I go to seek a Great Perhaps.” That’s why I’m going. So I don’t have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps.”- John Green, Looking for Alaska