nspw16

All posts tagged nspw16

We Made It

Posted by Hope Rising on September 12, 2016
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

 

To those whose stories look mine,

We are alive. We made it. When your world crumbles at your feet, and your lungs are weighed down with the pressure of a million disappointments, and your heart is far too broken to pump one more ounce of blood, sometimes there only seems as if there is one choice. But if you are reading this and you have survived the darkest day(s) of your life, then I say this to you:

We are more than survivors,We are WARRIORS. Because it not been easy to pick up the pieces of our lives and place them back together. Not in the way in they once were, but into a beautiful glorious masterpiece. Yes there will be scars, there will be cracks in our crevices, but still we are beautiful. Our lives are beautiful. And i know its not easy, and I know some days you still want to give up, and you don’t yet see that beauty. But know this: You have touched my life, you have made a difference just by being in it.

We have made it this far. and that is the testament to the fight that is within us, even when we don’t think we have the strength to fight anymore. So on the days that you feel like giving up, remember how far you have come. Remember how much you are loved. Remember that someone out there can’t imagine their life without you in it.

I know that it is not easy, because I walk the same road. But never once think that you fight this alone. You don’t have to give in to the thoughts of destruction. I promise you this life, is worth fighting for. Things take time. It isn’t going to be perfect. And it wont seem better right away. But if you are willing to fight, dear warrior. I’ll stand right beside you and wage war.

 

To Close out National Suicide Prevention Week I wanted to share this piece of spoken word poetry that I absolutely love. I believe in power of words, for in the depths of my own despair someone took the time to speak HOPE and LIFE into me. A year ago I came across this spoken word poetry and I could not help but be brought to tears. I urge you to take a few minutes out of your day and just watch this video and let the words move you.

 

 

 

We have made it this far. Let us make the promise to ourselves and each other, that we will fight for our tomorrows.

 

NSPW16:#TransformationTuesday

Posted by Hope Rising on September 7, 2016
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

13257_afsp_didyouknow_graphics_01

 

If you had told me at 13 years old that this was what my life was going to look like,  I wouldn’t have believed you. In fact, if you had told me a year and a half ago,  I wouldn’t have believed you.

When you are in such emotional distress that you can’t see past your pain, you can’t imagine a life where anything is different.  Over the last 16 years, I walked a road of depression and struggled with self injury, and i thought about ending my life.

When I couldn’t see a way out of the pain in my head and my heart, I thought my only choice was to end my life. I spent so much time putting on a brave face, and lying to myself and to those around me about the state of my recovery. I was hanging on by a thread, and no one even knew it. I knew how to make people believe that I was doing ok. I knew how to lie my way through the hard questions, because it was easier than facing reality.

Until I couldn’t lie anymore.
New Years Day 2015 right after the stroke of midnight I found myself in all too familiar place. Crying and  bleeding on a bathroom floor while so many around me were celebrating new beginnings. The same place and the same way I began 2014. And I couldn’t do it anymore. Sitting there on the floor on the phone with my best friend, for the first time I made a choice to really get help. To stop playing games with my life and my mental health. To possibly check myself into a hospital to get the treatment I needed. In those moments I didn’t care about work or school or what others would think. I finally saw worth in my life and I saw that I was worth recovery.

I started 2015 with HOPE in my heart that I could and  I would get better.
I started counseling.
I let go of my vices.
and over the last year and a half I let go of toxic relationships.
I chose LIFE.

and I sit here on the eve of a new chapter in my life with tears in my eyes. Because for the first time.. I am OK. I don’t have to lie about recovery because I have been choosing it everyday for the last 595 days.

I am more than OK.  I am healthy. and I am happy. and fight for it every day.
and because I have fought the things that have tried to destroy me, I can help others do the same.

It has not been easy, there have been many things that have happened to me over the last year and a half that have tried to knock me down. Depression hasn’t just magically gone away. But I have the tools to be able to live a life that is worth living, even if it means living with a mental health condition. This life is still worth it to me. I am worth it.

I gave my self the chance to see 595 tomorrows, and it has been the best and greatest journey that I have been in my 29 years on Earth.

Why I Fight for Suicide Prevention

Posted by Hope Rising on September 5, 2016
Posted in: Mental Health. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

I fight for Suicide Prevention because of my own struggle with Depression, Self Injury and Suicidal Thoughts. I fight for Suicide Prevention because there are people in my life whom I love deeply and they live bravely  with their own Mental Health conditions. We have seen the brink of death, and we are lucky enough to still be here. I fight because that means something. I fight because this second chance at life is so important to me, and I know that important things must be done.

I fight because of seen the pain in the eyes of my friends who have lost someone they love to suicide. To honor the memory of those who have been lost, I fight. And I fight for Suicide Prevention so that no family, friend or lover ever has to feel the pain of losing by suicide.

 

After my first attempt, I was told I was weak.
I was told that more was expected from me than this.
But there were people who challenged those words, who stood with me in my pain and helped me to see my strength. To see my illness for what it is and not a character flaw.
There were people who were my lifelines during that time keeping me from the brink of death. There were people who believed that things would get better. People who helped me to realize the warrior spirit within me.

And so because others have done that for me… I fight to be able to be that person for someone else who is struggling. As a Mental Health Counselor I aim to be on the front lines and making a difference for those who are in the deepest emotional and mental pain.

If I can make a difference for just one person, and help them to find the strength to live another day, it will all be worth it.

13257_AFSP_didyouknow_graphics_02.jpg