in order to save my life.
You were pulling me under
Far beneath the ocean tides.
Even though you knew I could not swim.
You were once the ship on which I placed all my hopes and dreams
but became the boulder
with tethered rope
mascarading as a lifeline
mascarading as love
dragging me down to the ocean floor
smothering the air from my lungs.
You who were once my favorite song
became the stringed quartet
performing a requiem
as the cold winters night seeped deep into my bones.
You who I stood before and promised forever
Ripped forever right from under me
and with it, every ounce of strength I had fought to gain over 25 long years.
Not only did you steal 12 years of my life
You stole my ability to the see the good in myself
you stole every bit of self worth i had ever held so gently in my palms.
I tried to numb the pain with every vice possible.
because i could not understand
how someone can promise to love forever
and yet so blatantly continue to destroy another person.
You were the poison in my veins.
Keeping me sick and near death
and every time I received the life saving antidote
you came right back to sink your venom into me.
and i refused to be a pawn in your game any longer.
It has been 8 months since i detoxed myself from you.
and I can finally feel life returning to me.
I had to let you go
if I wanted to live.