I want a life on fire, going mad with desire
I don’t wanna survive, I want a wonderful life
This lyric comes from one of my new favorite songs by Brian Fallon. Those of you who know me, know that I am enamored with music. When lyrics grip me, they almost feel life changing. When I first heard the chorus to this song, I knew that it would become my anthem going into 2016.
I do not want to exist. I do not want to take up space. I do not want to only survive this thing called life. I want to LIVE. Furiously. Passionately. Adventurously. Abundantly.
I am excited for the new direction my life is taking. I am finally being able to get off the back burner and go forward with the dreams I have for my life. How many years have i just sat in the background and supported others in their dreams..never having the courage to do so myself. This blog is just an example of that. I have been writing for years, and yet it is only this year 2016 that i finally decided to create my own website and start building on the bigger picture of my non profit organization.
Three years ago I took the leap and started graduate school, and that didn’t work out as planned. Two years ago I started in the program that I am currently in, and now I am only 2 semesters away from graduation. With that comes my ability to become a licensed counselor. Something I honestly thought would never be possible because of my hangups and addictions and struggles with depression. But here I am, in a healthy place, able to go forward, after going through my own healing process, to help others.
What was meant for destruction in my life is the fuel that drives me forward. And I know that I have been blessed with many second and third and fourth chances at life. I know I haven’t always lived the best life possible, but I am sick of just getting by. I want to live life, and live it abundantly.
There is so much more to this life than going to a job you hate everyday, to pay the bills for the things you do not really need but are hoping will fill some void in your life. It is so much more than throwing that hard earned money away on alcohol and drugs because you want to escape the mundane things of your life. Life is about giving back. Life is about being a positive force for someone else. Life is about seeing, feeling, and truly drinking in all that is out there. Basking in the sunrises and sunsets, tasting the sweet ocean air, spending time with loved ones, loving on those that think they have been forgotten, giving hope to the hopeless, extending a warm embrace to someone in need. I want to go out there and live the life I was meant to live. Depression and addiction may have tried to take me off that path, but it has not been taken away completely. I have fought this far, and I will continue to fight.
Because this life I have… the good and the bad… it is worth it.
And I will live it with passion.