This topic Is something that I has been weighing on my mind for such a long time. I guess it will always be a struggle for me to see myself the way those who matter in my life see me. Even in my best days of recovery I have to fight back the feeling that I am not good enough. Not thin enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not desirable enough.
That last one really strikes a chord in me. In no way do I define myself or value myself on whether or not I am in a relationship or not. But it is difficult when you open up parts of yourself to another human being and their reaction is to pull back or walk away completely and choose someone else to invest their time and emotions in.
I am ok with my past. I own the dark parts of myself because I am moving past them. But it hurts when someone deems me unworthy because I am not this perfect human being.
Yes I have curves and they may not all be in the right places but that’s ok because I refuse to go back to a place where the number on the scale determines just how beautiful I am.
Yes my wrists are tattooed and scarred. That is my story and yes it may be scary. But it does not make me crazy and in no way does it make me any less worthy of the love that is somewhere out there.
Yes I have struggled with depression. Not everyone’s life is as perfect as they make it seem on instagram. The only difference is that I choose to address it because I have defeated it. And I believe others can too.
I’m not concerned with the image that the world should have of me…flawlessly beautiful with a smile that’s plastered on and mind that’s too small to be able to discuss anything with importance. I am more than what’s on the outside. I am more than the dark parts if my story.
I am not ashamed to be me. The real..raw
Honest to God version of my self. Struggles and scars and all.
Because I am so much more then the things I struggle with. I am more than just the battles I face.
I am a warrior.
I am in love with my life.
And no matter what anyone says…
I am enough
Just the way I am.