When I was younger, I always used to wonder…why was I given this life, why does everything have to be so hard. And now in this phase of my life…. I stay up nights with memories and conversations flashing through my mind and I just cant help but wonder….how did a girl like me ever get so lucky to live the life i live? Can I say this because my life is perfect??…far from it. There are battles that i still face, walls that I still strive to break down, insecurities that i must work to turn away from. But what has changed is what makes the most difference…. the way I percieve my world. I can sit here and wallow in the things that are not the way i wish they could be, or I can open my arms and fully embrace the beautiful people and experiences that I encounter. And this is the choice I make every single day, and my life is far better in my eyes for it.
2014 is finally upon us. and in many ways i am sad to say goodbye because 2013 brought me so many beautiful memories. But I am looking forward to what 2014 has in store for me.
A year ago, I was only beginning to become the person I am today. A year ago I was still unsteady on my feet, and hanging on to many things of the past. Still believing the lies I was being fed…for someone else’s gain. A year ago, I was only beginning to understand what it meant to be truly happy and fulfilled. I was just beginning to regain my confidence and understand that my value did not lie in the hands of someone else. A year ago I was struggling to accept this new word that had come into my life: Divorce. I was only learning how to steer away from feeling like it defined me. In many ways 2013 was the beginning of my transformation,and throughout the last 12 months I have made many advances.
This year… I start with a clean slate. There is nothing that ties me to my former life anymore. That title that I was so afraid to accept. I owned it, and now it does not own me…and it has no impact on my day to day life. That marriage that failed…. it was just a stepping stone to something better. Had I never experienced what i did in that relationship I would have never gotten the courage to accept that i deserved better, and it also forced me to examine the darker parts of my self so that I could be a better person to whoever comes along in my future.
This year I am surrounded by the people that I choose to be a part of my life. I am no longer concerned with friendships that are one sided, or with people who continue to find ways to hurt me. The friendships I have now I believe have been orchestrated by God, because these people have been such blessings in my life and i hope that i have been the same for them.
This year I will continue to challenge my self academically, professionally and personally. I will continue to make changes where i see fit. I will continue to expand my horizons and explore the world. I will open my eyes to all the beautiful things that surround me. I will immerse my self in my passions. I will open my heart to whatever is out there for me. I will be transparent in my journey in order to help others. I will be a better friend to those who mean so much to me. I will be present in the moment and cherish every memory there is to be made.
and I believe…..
2014 is going to be an amazing year.