It is so easy to take the little things for granted…especially when you are living with mental illness. For years I lived with depression, I just accepted it as a fact of life. Holidays were not happy times, they were stressed filled and very often filled with disappointment.
And for me, birthdays were very much the same thing.
I would allow my self to get excited and have expectations of how things should be, and when nothing went the way I thought it would I would sink into a deeper depression. I don’t know how many birthdays began or ended with me trying to cover up new self injury wounds. It was the only thing that seemed to be the norm, the only thing that went the same way year in and year out. It felt like it was a cycle I could not break.
But I took a stand..and decided I wanted help.. I didn’t want to continue hiding my scars, and I didn’t want any new ones.
Today I turn 25 years old…and for the first time…I celebrate One FULL year of recovery. And I couldn’t be happier about these two milestones in my life. I don’t take either one for granted because it has not been an easy road but I have made it. And I am a different person today than I was one year ago. Today I am excited and joyful and just so completely grateful. And I am grateful to feel all these things. It is so easy to take happiness for granted, but when you haven’t felt happy in years…you can’t help but be overwhelmed by the feeling.
So today I am celebrating 25 years of life. I am Celebrating One year of Recovery. I am celebrating Happiness. and I am celebrating being able to celebrate.
When you have walked through the storms…you can’t help but be in awe of the rainbows.