Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart
On May 8th , 25 years ago at 7:18 pm I entered this world and took my first breath. But my story didn’t begin there… Before I was even I thought in my parents’ minds, God knew who I was and what He had called me for. He knew every trial I would face, every agonizing defaeat and every victory I would celebrate. I have seen so much, and experienced so much in my life in only 25 short years… but I know without a shadow of a doubt that everything is for a reason.
Today I celebrate 25 years of life. Something that most people take for granted. But I know that I am here by the grace and mercy of God. Without Him, my life would mean nothing, without His love I may never have opened my eyes to my true worth, and without His grace and mercy, my life could have ended so many years ago. So I can’t help but to sit here and be overwhelmed but the amazing and awesome God that I serve. He has given me a new lease on life. He has restored me, revived me, and made me whole. I am beyond grateful for everything I have been given.
Today I celebrate one year of recovery from self-injury and that is the most amazing feeling in the world. To see where I was just a year ago….and know I don’t even know that person anymore. For years, this night has been a struggle, a night filled with sorrow, anger and disappointment rather than a celebration of life. But for the first time in years, I can’t help but be anything but excited and filled with joy about this day and this milestone. My past is behind me. It has shaped me into who I am today, and it has given me the tools and the experiences to help others out of their tough times.
As a dear friend of mine reminded me… this is a great victory in my life. The things I have overcome: depression, thoughts of suicide, self injury, eating disorders…these are things that could destroy people…and have destroyed people..and yet I am still here today. I never gave up fighting no matter how bad things got, and I know that God was on my side the whole way through. It is a miracle that I am here today…and a miracle that I am who I am. I have not let the trials of life break me.. I have allowed them to make me stronger. Stronger than I ever imagined I could be.
So today..My life truly begins. I am free from my past, free from my mistakes, free from the chains that bound me for so long. I am free to love my self just as I am…scars and all because they are beautiful, and I am beautiful. I am free to love others pouring out the unconditional love that has been poured out on me from so many places. I am free to move forward in the plans God has for me, because I know that if He is with me who can be against me? I am free to let go of the hurts of the past because only God holds my heart in His hands and He will never leave me, hurt me or forsake me… He will always love me. I am free to walk in freedom, in faith and in love.
I am ready to go wherever life takes me. Today is the first day of the rest of my life