Everyone keeps asking me..what do want for your birthday?? And normally.. I’d have a list..a really long list of things that I wanted. For years I have been trying to feel ok…and my way of doing that was to have things that made me happy. I believed that if I had that pair of shoes or that piece of jewelry or whatever I was obsessing about at the moment…then I would finally feel happy. But things never worked out that way.. if i didn’t get what was on my list I was disappointed…and when I did..the excitement in my head never added up to what I actually felt.
That’s the thing about depression…you can convince yourself you want to be happy.. but the reality is..that it is physically impossible for you to feel that way.
That’s why this year is so different. This year I can’t stop smiling. This year…I can’t even make a list because everything I could ever ask for.. I already have. I prayed and wished and I fought to be healthy and happy. And here I am..celebrating one year of recovery from depression and self injury. And all i could ever ask for is an amazing family to share it all with. And I have that in more ways than I could have ever imagined.
I want to thank everyone who has stood by my side..not only for this year…but for the past 8 years or however long you have been in my life. If you still here today I know that is because I can count on you, because you have never judged me or turned me away…and you have been through all good and all that bad. You have been there to pray with me, to talk with me, to just hold me when i cried, to remind me of the good, and to keep me focused on moving forward.
All i want this year is to celebrate these milestones in my life with the people I love the most, and thanks to my amazing church family…that’s possible…and I couldn’t be happier 🙂
When you have great people in your life who just pour out love in every way possible, there’s no way you can’t feel grateful or happy. I know that I am truly blessed to have all these amazing people in my life. I love you all so much!